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The funny things in life

fhoantells:

"I just want Bruce Lee to hold me as long as he can."

I’m dying.

(imgur album)

Childish Gambino - Retro
30,562 plays
kudou-kun:

Vietnamese Bánh Mì with fish cake by (黑貓小子)

kudou-kun:

Vietnamese Bánh Mì with fish cake by (黑貓小子)

fuckyeah1990s:

The Little Rascals 20th Anniversary Reunion

"College as explained to me in high school" vs. "College as experienced firsthand"
In high school they told us: There will be no grades in a class except the midterm and the final, so you have to study hard because failing one test means you fail the class.
Once I was in college a professor said: Hey, you guys are working really hard on your third paper, so I'm just going to cancel the final and give everyone a hundred on it.
In high school they told us: In college, class always begins exactly at the scheduled start time. If your class is at 9 AM and you get there at 9:01, the doors will be locked and you'll be out of luck, especially if it's the day of the midterm or final, because then you get a zero.
Once I was in college a professor said: Does anyone mind if I start class at 3:35 instead of 3:30? These elevators are really slow and I want to have time for a cigarette before I teach for 90 minutes.
In high school they told us: Every class you miss drops you a full letter grade in college courses.
Once I was in college almost every professor said: You can miss three classes without a penalty, and a few more if you have a Doctor's note. Sorry to be a hardass, but you automatically fail if you miss more than ten days of class.
In high school they told us: If you do have papers, your professors just lecture and put the assignments on the syllabus. You're completely responsible for remembering the deadlines, they won't remind you. All your professors will do is lecture and the rest is up to you.
Once I was in college a professor said: Okay, so your next paper is in two weeks! I'll keep reminding you in the interim, but I just want to make sure you have enough time to do it! Let's run through the structure I want to see real quick, and if you have any questions, feel free to email me or come to my office hours!
In high school they told us: You have to use MLA formatting and if you make any mistakes in your citations, it'll be considered plagiarism. You'll be expelled and probably sued.
Once I was in college almost every professor said: Please do not use MLA, it is awful, we use either APA or Chicago here because we are not 14 years old.
In high school they told me: There is no excuse for an absence. NONE.
In college I called a professor and said: I'm really, really, really sorry but it's -18 before windchill and I have to walk two miles to get to class.
The professor said: You stay inside and stay safe. Here's what we're reading today. I'll quiz you next week and if you can get a 90% I'll mark you present. I know you live off-campus, do you have food?
In high school they told me: Your advisor is just for academia, not personal problems.
In college my advisor called me: Are you okay? I haven't seen you in class in two weeks and I know you have depression. I can drop off your work if you'd like. Please call me and tell me how you're doing even if you can't get to class.
In high school they told me: Don't argue. You think this is bad, wait til college.
In college all but one of my professors said: You wanna argue, do it in a civil manner. We didn't get here today without 5000 years of healthy debate.
In Addition:
In high school they told me: You need to exceed all of your peers to get your teacher's attention and MAYBE they'll give you a good reference with a network.
Most of my college teachers: Hey, you're fucking funny, I like you, you say intelligent things sometimes, and some dumb shit but you're here to learn and if you need a recommendation, come to me and I'll help out.
High School: Forced the quiet kids to talk
College: You're quiet... give me a good amount of thought in your papers and tests and your participation points will be counted.
High School: Don't ask questions, just listen and do the readings and you'll be fine!
College: ASK QUESTIONS YOU QUIET CRICKETS!!! Seriously, how in the hell am I supposed to know you understand me? I know you all don't get this shit, it's hard so ask questions!

jzanity1010:

dbvictoria:

More Disney Parks facts here

TREASURED GUEST

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reddit thread